Edited Titles for Kids’ Books That Would Save a Whole Lot of Reading Time
The Giving Tree: the story of a tree and this greedy son of a bitch who loves(?) her. The BFG -or- Big Things Are
First Ever Helpfulsnowman Guessing Game Contest!
Today, we at Helpful Snowman are proud to present our first ever contest! Today’s contest is somewhat of a guessing game, somewhat of a way
Real Bad Facebook Quizzes
“Which character from Herman’s Head lives inside your head?” “How many years will you live after the beginning of your real sorrows?” “Which Insane Clown
New Error Message
Whoops! No New Content Today! But seriously, have you checked out anything on the Fiction page?
Lesson: How to Draw a Helpful Snowman
This is how every goddamn how-to-draw book works: 1. Start out with balls. Not those kind of balls. You have to start with body balls,
Responses to Top 10 Banned Books of 2009
“TTYL; TTFN; L8R, G8R (series), by Lauren Myracle Reasons: Nudity, Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group, Drugs I don’t mean to be
Why They Never Let Me Graphic Design
Dear Publisher, I received your original design for the Rilke book. Just made a few mockups while still keeping the original design fresh in my
The “I Hope George Lucas Doesn’t Sue Me” Blog
I just wanted to share a couple of things from some Star Wars comics that I find totally inappropriate. If this is too nerdy for
Graphic Design Tips for Bums
-Stick to cardboard. The black on brown really screams, I’m not having money! -Font is key. The straighter and neater your letters are, the less
Please Use Other Door!?
Dear People Who Own Places, I just want to say what a great job you are doing running things over where you are. The walls
The Ten Questions I Would Put on the Census
1. Name 2. Circle the name of person who was biggest the dick in high school: Kyle Greg 3. Write in the name of a
How to Know You Are Screwed
Can I just point out a few things that I hope would come up before this? How can this be searched so often that it
My High Brow Life Sandwiches My Low Brow Life
1. Leave work at library. 2. Drive downtown. 3. Suddenly need to shit. 4. As urgency increases drastically, elect to stop at bowling alley. 5.
Questions I Have for My Former Teachers
-Why did you make me draw the Amazon river when I don’t even know where Korea is? -How come I can figure the area under
Hold Music Survey
Question 1: Do you prefer music that is: A.) Classical in the over-exciting, grating way B.) 80’s Keyboard Heavy C.) Depressing in that you remember
Things That I Do Not Want to See EVER Again!
Dear the Internet, First, thank you for the wide selection of pornography. It is wonderful, and it makes me feel very fortunate when I think
Categories I Would Use to Judge a Cake Contest
-Eatability -Presence in my stomach -Filled with money?