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Presented here, nearly 10 years of columns written for LitReactor, including topics such as comics, Demolition Man, libraries, Chuck Palahniuk, Halloween costumes, paperback cover gimmicks, self-publishing, and a whole lot more.
My first attempt to read Tyra Banks’ Modelland started in 2012. It also ended in 2012, somewhere about 20% into the book. I couldn’t take any more. There were so many other things I could enjoy, why spend time on Modelland? There were birds…trees…
Then, in 2015, I decided “screw birds and trees.”
I threw up a Kickstarter. Pete’s Exhaustive Review of Modelland. And with that, I answered the question, “How much would money would convince me to read Modelland?”
A hundo, it turns out. A well-earned hundo.
I read the damn book, and as part of the deal, I wrote a long, detailed, exhaustive review.
And here it is.
And here it is.
One thief holds the key to the perfect crime. Only one problem: He holds the key in his butt.
This book was legitimately published on 4/20 and is 69 pages long. Sometimes things just work out.
Dear Reader,
You hold in your hands a bunch of love letters, none of which were sent. Letters to friends, family, people I loved, people who loved me. There’s an occasional famous person in there and the once-in-a-while clerk at the grocery store. They’re all here.
Best,
Pete
Hi. It’s me. I’m the guy who wrote this. No use pretending that this blurb was written by someone else.
Ever see the movie 3 Ninjas? Ever wondered where the stars are now? Yeah, me too. But then I did a quick Google search and found out.
More to the point, ever wonder why the dad in that movie was like, “Oh, yeah. It’s perfectly fine for my sons to fist fight adults as ninjas”?
I know I did.
We finally have the inside scoop thanks to this very stupid book.
[as a note on this one, I re-titled the Kindle version as “Stephen King is the new title for this book, formerly Ninja Sons” as a publicity stunt. So if you want the Kindle version, it’s here.
Because nobody asked for it! Now you can finally read all the Helpful Snowman goodness in comics form! Reel with terror when you see the killing machine peace robot! Recoil in horror at really awful art, which is in pretty much the whole thing. Laugh! Laugh and rejoice at the, you know, the funny stuff.
The humble origins. A MySpace blog that would become the Helpful Snowman empire. Covering topics from Mr. Piss, a machine that converts any liquid into urine, to topics such as…eh, it’s only downhill from there, honestly.
If you found this, good on you for looking through the whole Santa costume. Keep looking. Check the boots, check the belt. Check in the hat. You’ll find everything you need to know. Everything that will help you survive Santa season.
In 2020 a letter titled “A Letter on Justice and Open Debate” appeared in Harper’s. The reactions were mixed, quick, mostly missed the point. Join this discussion of speech, intellectual freedom, and cancel culture.
An evergreen pamphlet for those who don’t feel represented by the top candidates.
I’m not saying FOR SURE that YOUR BABY WILL BE A MISOGYNIST IF YOU DON’T BUY THIS BOOK. But I do think any good feminist parent would buy this book, and if you didn’t, it’s not your fault, it’s just the embedded patriarchal feelings you’ve got inside you making your decisions for you. You could buy your way out of being the ruination of society, but hey, it’s your life.
Written with gamers and non-gamers in mind, Digitally Stimulated is a project authored by Ian and Peter Derk. Them Derk boys take turns ripping on games, each other, and then turning around and praising other games. They don’t quite get to praising each other. There’s only so much time in this life.
Welcome to this series of serialized essays that should’ve been called “How Many ‘S’ Sounds Can I Cram Into The First Sentence?” but is called Devil’s Advocate instead. It’s called Devil’s Advocate because the idea is to explore some topics that I feel we’ve made a cultural decision on, and I don’t agree with the cultural decision. Some are things that we’ve reached a scientific decision on, and I’ve got my doubts about the science. Let’s do this!
