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“A full-length audio review? Why not!?https://www.helpfulsnowman.com/?p=6701“

“A freakshow is busted up when a guy known as “The Goon” stuffs a human worm headfirst into the mouth of a 10-armed mutant, choking

“A decent book, but for me, just not the sum of its parts. You’ve got Gene Luen Yang, who is definitely a comics talent. And

“A dark secret has fallen over the land. Shrouded in mystery and the blood of the innocent, will Verona be rescued from the clutches of

“A celebrity among classics, I just read this for the first time at the age of 29. I don’t know how I ducked it up

“A bunch of fellow librarians tried to get this book pulled from the digital service Hoopla. I think they were wrong, and I’m certain they

“A book that’s pleasant and quiet without being boring, which is a rarity as far as I can tell. The book has a structure to

“A bit too much waiting to hear an explanation for what appear to be inexplicable events, but it was still intriguing enough to keep me

“90% of this book involves superheroes punching an endless stream of ice monsters, who they KNOW are endless, but they kind of just keep punching

“7 volumes deep, we’ve hit the F, Marry, Kill review. I just want to be clear, this is John Allison’s fault for having three main

“6 volumes deep I usually run out of steam on reviews. Should we talk about, I don’t know, James Tynion’s beard? It’s a solid nerd

“50 pages into this book, I was thinking, “Ah, Christ. So Mr. Palahniuk is weighing in on American politics too? Is fucking EVERYONE an expert

“5 stars, good ending, good journey. Nice job, everyone. This’ll probably be the most fucked-up 10 year high school reunion of all time.Someone should totally

“5 stars, all the way. I was skeptical when I started out. Shit My Dad Says was one of my favorite reasons for Twitter to

“5 stars, a tour de force. This is the one that’s going to buy me a supercar. Or at least an issue of a magazine

“5 stars, 10 out of 10 stars, thumbs all up, whatever number you’ve got. Worse to have 1 thumb or three? These are the questions

“5 stars for now. But we’ll have to try this whole lucid dreaming thing before I’ll really know. I have very boring, fairly vivid dreams,

“101 things! That’s like everything.How many can I remember…1. The 180-degree rule: this way, you don’t look dopey.2. Remove things from your actors’ eyeline so

“1. If you don’t like scantily-clad women in your comics, do not read this. You won’t like it, I’m telling you now, just don’t do

“A defeat in Vietnam was imminent. He nation was also mired in recession. Labor strikes crippled the workforce. Unemployment soared. So did the crime rate.

“ There’s this weird thing with superheroes that goes right into this discussion I had with my brother a couple weeks ago. We were talking

“ [this is a wordless review for a wordless graphic novel. I’m getting so art school these days]”

“+ The drawings are pretty great. – Let me read to you my board book, Cynical Pete: Sometimes Cynical Pete thinks people slap a word

“[review removed by me]”

“[Pete cracks his knuckles, starts typing] Before you read this review, if you want to read this book, do that first. It’s short, it’s cheap,

“[Nelson from Simpsons laugh]”

“[insert thoughtful treatise on trauma and its after-effects here]Fuckin’ awesome shit, bro.”

“[After Action Letter Written by Batman] Superman- After reviewing the after-action report collected in this volume, I have to make some critical points about how

“…Aaaaand this confirms that the decision to read these in a tight timeline was correct. There’s no fucking way you would remember what was going

“*UPDATE I accidentally read this twice. Didn’t even realize that I’d read it before until I went to put it here on Goodreads. It should

“*****This contains spoilers for both this book AND Batman: the Long Halloween. So if you haven’t read Long Halloween, I’d say go for that one

“”Your barfing broke the spell.””

“”The room where you sleep is small and cramped. In one corner is stored the sacks of seeds needed for planting. There are not as

“”Son, get my life savings out of the closet.” “You mean the hundred pennies in the jar?” “Yes, son.” … Can people understand why I’m

“”Sometimes the weight of armor is harder to bear than the weight of the past.” Oh, barf. Red Sonja is Conan but without the spectacle

“”Should you happen to be possessed of a certain verbal acuity coupled with a relentless, hair-trigger humor and surface cheer spackling over a chronic melancholia

“”Hey, Sam I Am? Listen to what I’m saying. I understand that you really enjoy Green Eggs & Ham. And that you feel like I

“”…What is art not? Well, as I’ve described it, Art is not about communication. Art is not a way of conveying information. It’s a way

” Weird. Not a spoiler because it’s how the volume begins, but what you should know is that Doctor Octopus has put his mind into

“This movie smells so strongly of Paul WS Anderson that when he showed up in the credits, the movie made a lot more sense.”

“You know how in horror movies you’re like, “Well, these people are making terrible choices, but they’re all 19, bad choices are kind of the

“I tried to figure out the plot of this movie afterward, and I went home and spray painted a bunch of words on the floor

“Hear me out: This is basically a Kevin Smith, “two people in a room with a good excuse to tell stories” movie, only with a

“Normally I don’t write plot summaries as reviews, but in the case of Cats, I think it’s fine because I’m going to get 10% of

“Shoutout to the underappreciated Creedence, who was by far the most over-the-top actor in a movie where a guy yells “Oh My GOOOOOOOOd!” with a

“I just read a 5-page Mary Sue article about the Chris Pratt controversies. You all need to get a fuckin’ life.”

“It was a bold choice to film the subway portion in real time. That’s what they did, right? That’s why it took so long?  It’s

“Everyone seems to have forgotten what was so cool about the original Scream: When you saw it, up to then, most other big slashers were

“The movie rules so hard, and everyone who says it’s pro-police or whatever probably also thinks Starship Troopers is pro-war propaganda, Fight Club is about

“This seems to be the point where they pushed the connection to the original movie to its breaking point and then a tad further. Which

“Just giving this 5 stars because it’s not worth my life to give it anything less, and Swifties are one mild apocalypse from an uprising

“3 stars for Scream 3, 2 stars added for Parker Posey, movie MVP.”

“This Jada biopic has not aged well. “

“Is Bo Jackson the man who gave the biggest singlehanded fuck you to Florida of all time? Yes. And it was 100% deserved.”

“Only someone who has never worked a day in their life would balk at the idea of retiring in their 30s.”

“Too competent and reasonable to be super cult-y, too dull to be a mainstream success. Everything in this movie works except the plotting. The characters

“One day Tom Felton will have a nice dad in a movie.”

“What is it with movies that have “wax” in the title? Waxwork and House of Wax: both movies that are a little slow and uninteresting

“A good movie even though it participates in the propaganda movement to trick us into thinking museums are cool.”

“My advice to slashers is to go after the elderly instead of teens. Less mobile, often alone, treat yourself to a Werther’s after each success.”

“This movie has added a new entry to me Eccentric Millionaire Ideas Book: Open a bar that’s completely upside-down with all the furniture and shit

“Good job of shooting for a plot that feels a little like a genuine D&D session where things kind of happen as you go and

“Knowing the ending ahead of time destroyed this movie for me. I gather it’s not that way for everyone, but for me, knowing exactly what

“Endlessly fascinated by the garage door kill in this movie.  On one hand, the one with a garage door opener in it, I get it,

“Well, we did it.  This definitely has the hallmarks of a bad movie. The sloth puppet looks horrendous and yet is in 100% daylight from

“Jigsaw used to kill people like doctors because they had C- bedside manner. Now he’s a vigilante going after total scumbag supervillains.  I miss the

“I was preparing my partner for this movie not to be very cat-centric, and I was wrong to do so. #General4Eva”

“Saw this way too young and only remember the Buckwheat.”

“I couldn’t help but imagine what would compel me to risk my life for my job. Pete, they’re shutting down your project tomorrow, so if

“It’s fine until it’s not.  I’m not the biggest endings make or break the movie person, but this one was a bit end-less, even for

“Rimshot is Wishbone with a couple extra pounds and that works.”

“I don’t know what you people want. There was a flaming tuba for almost no reason. Those who know fear burned at the touch of

“Will one of these vampires get a fucking watch already? Morning comes every single day, you’d think that the vampires who’d survived would be pretty

“Really the ultimate example of, “So is Sylvester a cat or like a guy or what?””

“Snooty Butler: I don’t think you live here. Why don’t you trick-or-treat in your own neighborhood? Orphan Kids: We don’t have a home. Snooty Butler:

“There’s a bunch of rumor/creepypasta swirling about this one. First off, the movie that you’ll see is fine. It’s like a 90-minute Are You Afraid

“Beautifully Tim-Burton-y. The dog is super cute even though he’s patched together of the flesh of other dogs. “

“The best part of this is when Garfield pirates lasagna from Jon by smashing it with his peg leg. Guys, the correct answer is right

“An underappreciated gem of the mostly family friendly movie set. Although our main hero is super clueless. Like, not only does he not see the

“Have you ever come up with a cool premise and then started turning into a story when you realize there’s nothing but the premise and

“I was trying to explain what I like about this movie last night… I think it’s kind of an unusual movie in that it’s less

“Never realized this was a Mad Eye Moody prequel, but all the pieces fit.”

“Even though this was ambiguous in a lot of the ways I disliked about It Follows, this one works for me because it A) leans

“Florida Man trapped in basement with alligators during hurricane.”

“False advertising, takes place mostly during the day.  I’m also not sure about the necessity of understanding West Baltimore as it relates to revenge killing

“Respect it and what it’s doing, but they should’ve pretended it was set during torrential rain to excuse the sound.  Yes, I know, this wasn’t

“Well, this is a soft reboot of the Brahms lore? Two movies in? But whatever, still pretty hilarious.”

“Unfortunately, this movie could not be released under its original title: The (Cock) Ring.  Pretty to look at, nice soundtrack, good premise, but we never

“So tired of woke Hollywood replacing our beloved The Boy with The Girl. #JusticeForBrahms Do any people in Hollywood know how bullying works?  If I

“After watching a bunch of Halloween specials and episodes this year, I have to say I was SHOCKED at the legitimacy of this one. First

“There is much speculation online about Charlie Brown getting rocks in his trick or treat bag while all of his friends get candy. The most

“In 1967, we were introduced to this wonderful story of an elderly Frankenstein and his sexbot.”

“Here’s why this doesn’t work: The fun of The Far Side is that each comic is like a little puzzle. You have to figure out

“I’m not sure about the updated HD version, but the OG version is much hornier than you’re thinking it is. MUCH hornier.”

“The fucking preview for this movie makes it look like a romcom starring Rachel McAdams and Cillian Murphy, and it’s a complete gem and deserves

“Possibly the best all-time version of, “I had no idea that this super dangerous thing I created in order to do good in the world

“If I get Letterboxd premium, would I find this movie by searching “Boogeyman” as opposed to “The Boogeyman”? I was all set to give this

“Now do one called “The Director’s Cut” where it’s the same deal but everyone is watching a new Ari Aster film. “

“The funniest thing about the Halloweentown franchise is reading reviews of the reboot which had a different cast: People are PISSED. This is like beyond

“Once you’ve gone to space, can you really go back to the hood? I think there’s been one good horror movie made in the hood,