Yesterday I went to get some shit out of my fridge and the shit was frozen.
Milk. It was milk that was frozen, not shit. Although frozen milk is, in a lot of ways, shit. Drink it and see, friends.
Why the fridge went on the fritz I don’t know. Why was the fridge, which I didn’t reset in any way, suddenly deciding that it needed to make things extra cold?
As an amateur handyman, emphasis on the amateur and not so much on the handy, or man, I decided to take the first step of amateur handymen everywhere.
Amateur Handymen Repairs Step One: Fuck with ALL the dials a bunch.
Okay, can do. Then I find this:
Again, amateur handyman, super amateur mathematiciman. But for the life of me, I have no idea what the hell is going on here.
If I turn the knob clockwise, I get number like +1 and +2. Counterclockwise, -1, -2.
It would appear that we are on a system of plus and minus. Which should work EXCEPT that I don’t know whether the symbols refer to temperature (minus 2 being colder than minus 1) or level of power (plus 2 being less than plus 3, therefore plus three being colder as it is more fridge power).
Extra confusing is that the minus numbers are associated with the side that says “Cold” while the numbers with pluses in front of them are on the “Coldest” side. I would have thought it opposite, the minus numbers being coldest.
The real problem here is why the fuck would someone do this? It makes no goddamn sense. There are, conservatively, 40,000 better ways to do it. How about using more adjectives on the dial? Cold, Colder, Coldest. Or how about temperature numbers? 40 degress, 35 degrees, and so on? How about a stripe that goes from blue to red? How about any other thing besides the one chosen?
I just don’t understand. Which person was working at the Shitty Apartment Fridge Factory Co. and came up with that design and thought, Perfect. Everyone step away. It’s exactly what we need. Do not change A THING.
How about a slider instead of a rotating dial, you bastards!?
Please, if you work at some sort of something somewhere, it’s cool if you don’t have a good brain. Some of us end up with bad brains. I get it. I’m not asking you to kill yourself by walking into a spinning propeller. I’m not even asking you to quit your job by walking into a spinning fan blade to the death. I’m not asking you to calmly end your life by walking into any kind of rotating object. I’m just asking that before you put out a product, can you please, for the love of god, find someone with a good, working brain to figure out how a normal person might use something, and then go ahead and have that person test it out? Give them a scenario. Your milk has transformed into feces. Fix it with dial. Go.