Things I May Leave Around My Apartment to Impress Girls

Oh, that old thing?  Just an acoustic guitar I picked up somewhere.  You know, Clapton wrote a little song about some kid that fell out of a window, and I suspect people are getting sex off it.  I’ll play you something, but first I have to loosen up my hands, which I do by holding large Amazing Spider-Man trade paperbacks.  Hence all the Amazing Spider-Man trade paperbacks.

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This?  Just the French version of Vogue.  I like to keep up on the fashions from abroad as they tend to influence what we see here in the states.  That way I stay ahead, hence these Superman pajama pants.

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Oh, these old things?  Just the handwraps I wore when I fought middleweight golden gloves.  I was pretty good.  But then I killed a man in the ring and swore I would never fight again, wipe all records of my fights from the internet and hard copies, and watch after the children of the man I killed.  They come by sometimes.  Hence the Nintendo Wii, including Wii Motion Plus.

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That may look like a normal rock, but it’s actually from the top of K2, which I climbed up on.  They say it will never be warm, maintaining a constant temperature ten degrees cooler than the surrounding air.  Hence it sits on top of my DVD player as that mother tends to heat up something fierce during marathon rewatchings of seasons of The Shield.