“What happens when a really stupid detective goes back in time and ends up on the Titanic? He makes a $100,000 bet that the ship WILL sink. The captain disagrees.
They drive around for a bit until things get REALLY interesting and the detective starts demanding a little more action for his money:
At my direction, we began running the ship into reefs and rocks and every other navigational hazard we could find. We rammed into lighthouses, backed over fishing boards, and drove up on beaches and knocked over those lifeguard things.
Everything we hit was either severely damaged or destroyed, but the Titanic steamed away without a scratch every time. I knew it was waterproof, but now I was finding out that it was unbreakable too. The captain said that all of the parts that went into building it were just too big to break, that’s why. How do you sink something like that? What a ship.
I insisted we keep trying, at least for a while. For $100,000 I figured I should get at least 100 crashes, maybe 100,000. The captain didn’t mind. He was so supremely confident in his ship. Plus, he’d never had so much fun in his life. He said he wished he’d met me before.
But after we wrecked a coastal town in France and one of our passengers had shot Teddy Roosevelt and we found ourselves hiding in fogbanks and telling all the passengers to keep their voices down for God’s sake, as police boats patrolled slowly back and forth within 100 yards of us, and we could clearly see the cops looking at a wanted poster with a drawing of our boat on it showing me and the captain on deck jumping with excitement, we realized that maybe we’d gone a little too far with all this. “