Gourmet Smoked Ham Club
A full 1/4 pound of real applewood smoked ham, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, & real mayo
Why always with the applewood? Can we use any other wood to smoke things? And when you say “real” are you referring to the applewood smoking (in which case, is there FAKE applewood?) or to the ham being real? Oh, wait. I see “real” mayo at the end there. Okay, gotcha. This shit is realer than Jlo and Ja-Rule who, as it turns out, really couldn’t go on without each other.
Billy Club
Roast beef, ham, provolone, dijon mustard, lettuce, tomato, & mayo
Italian Night Club
Hey, thanks for naming this sandwich after a beating implement. What’s next, the Baseball Bat with Nails Sticking Out of the End of It Sandwich?
Hunter’s Club
A full 1/4 pound of fresh sliced medium rare roast beef, provolone, lettuce, tomato, & mayo.
This may be the fault of roast beef, but I don’t understand the cooking temperature distinctions when it comes to cold meats. I mean, at one time it was medium rare? And then refrigerated over night? Does this imply that I could order this sandwich rare?
Country Club
Fresh sliced turkey breast, applewood smoked ham, provolone, and tons of lettuce, tomato, and mayo! (a very traditional, yet always exceptional classic).
Thanks for the little extra info there. Good to know I’m going with a classic. I’m normally very insecure about these choices, so it’s good to see some populist backing here.
Beach Club
Fresh baked turkey breast, provolone cheese, avocado spread, sliced cucumber, sprouts, lettuce, tomato, and mayo! (its the real deal, and it aint even california).
I wonder if they have to change this for all the California Jimmy John’s. Probably. It probably says, “Plus, you live in California. Enjoy the weather! Sincerely, the Rest of the Country.”
Gourmet Veggie Club
Double provolone, real avocado spread, sliced cucumber, alfalfa sprouts, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (try it on my 7-grain whole wheat bread. this veggie sandwich is world class!).
Yeah. In a world without meats perhaps.
Club Tuna
The same as our #3 totally tuna except this one has a lot more. homemade tuna salad, provolone, sprouts, cucumber, lettuce, & tomato.
Kinda lazy to refer to your own menu. That’s like making a song and instead of singing the chorus, just abruptly ending the music and saying “See earlier chorus.”
Club Lulu
Fresh sliced turkey breast, bacon, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (jjs original turkey & bacon club).
Listen, we’re already on a first name basis. Which is extra confusing because you have two first names. We don’t need to go with the JJ thing. Especially because JJ is a worthless shortening. How do I know? Because you can’t shorten it to “jaydge” the way you can shorten DJ to “Deej.”
Ultimate Porker
Real applewood smoked ham and bacon with lettuce, tomato & mayo, what could be better.
Well, a sandwich that doesn’t force me to come up to the desk and say “Ultimate Porker, please.”
Totally Tuna
Fresh housemade tuna, mixed with celery, onions, and our tasty sauce, then topped with alfalfa sprouts, cucumber, lettuce, and tomato.
Housemade? What’s the difference between housemade and homemade? I’ve never heard someone say, “We have a home vinegarette.” I don’t think these terms are as interchangable as you want them to be, Jaydge.
Vito
The original italian sub with genoa salami, provolone, capicola, onion, lettuce, tomato & a real tasty italian vinaigrette. (hot peppers by request).
The only problem is that they ask you if you want hot peppers. You don’t have to request, you have to turn them down. Which makes me feel like not a man. I get enough of that during the day, the last time I need it is when making a sandwich decision where I have to balance the approval of a teen working at a sandwich place against the GI distress I’ll no doubt experience soon enough.
J.j.b.l.t.
Bacon, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (the only better blt is mamas blt).
Have we not cracked the recipe for mama’s BLT yet? Is there a reason I can’t have that? It seems to me that the recipe is fairly transparent. I think we could figure this out, guys.
The J.j. Gargantuan
This sandwich was invented by jimmy john’s brother huey. it’s huge enough to feed the hungriest of all humans. tons of genoa salami, sliced smoked ham, capicola, roast beef, turkey & provolone, jammed into one of our homemade french buns then smothered.
Ah, finally. There are so many reasons this is the right sandwich. For one, you can never go wrong with a sandwich that has a monstrous name. The Gargantuan. The Titan. The Ed Gein. It’s always a good sign.
Secondly, Jaydge is trying to push this off on his brother, Huejdge, which I also take as a good sign. It says to me that he’s a little nervous about fully endorsing this bad boy.
And finally, it’s like fourteen dollars. Naturally.