“WHO was responsible for going forward with “Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite?” KKK? Really?
I mean, no part of me was like, “This is a racist dog whistle” or whatever, but, guys, c’mon, I did better than this in the 6th grade.
True story: We used to do this thing in 6th grade, instead of the science fair, we’d do the Invention Convention where you were supposed to invent something.
Because we were in 6th grade, all of these inventions were terrible. Mostly a thing with a clock added on, oftentimes something that absolutely did not require or benefit from a clock.
I invented the Keen Key Kontainer. This was a Nerf ball that I cut up so you could put it around your house key, like a sheath, and then if you fell on your keys while rollerblading, which was something that could happen to me because I was in 6th grade in the 90’s, the foam would prevent you from being in a minor amount of pain.
I attempted to decorate this and make it look nice, and when I brought in the “prototype” the science teacher was like, “Okay, this works, but the final version will look a little better?” And I was like, “Totally.” It totally didn’t, the final version was EXACTLY the prototype because, I mean, why else would this matter?
I did my “research” portion by putting a key in the Kontainer, putting it in my pocket, and falling over a few times. SCIENCE!
We also had to include some scientific background, so I did mine about buoyancy because the Kontainer also happened to float, a huge bonus if you happened to be waterskiing and put your keys in your pocket(?)
My dad helped me with that part, although I think his explanation of buoyancy was a little over my head and more than was warranted by a nerf ball hastily cut into a vaguely boxy shape.
I remember my good friend’s invention was a lock for CD cases, which was a diary lock he glued onto a CD case. This was ostensibly to keep your siblings from borrowing and scratching your CD’s. Our science teacher told him that if he was grading my friend on his own abilities, this would be an F, but because he had to grade him with regard to his peers, it was a B. I did not receive such a speech, which I guess tells you either that I met my potential with the Keen Key Kontainer, or my science teacher was very wrong.
I’ll let you be the judge, but I DID get a masters of science. Okay, Library Science, which is questionable as “science” goes, but still.
Anyway, during the process of creating the Keen Key Kontainer, I realized that the initials for it was KKK, and even though I was in 6th grade, I decided to go ahead and abandon the 3-k name and put a C in front of Container.
If I, a 6th grader living up to his full potential by butchering a Nerf ball, can be self-aware enough to catch that, you’d think DC comics could pull it off.”