“Smooth Criminals Vol. 1”

“What’s here is okay, but shit, there’s not a whole lot of it. It feels like if they’d compressed a little bit of this, made the first two volumes into one, we’d be better off.

Also, I’m sorry, but these characters, a super hacker and a master thief, are dopey as fuck. They really thought they were in a time machine situation? I didn’t think they were in a time machine situation, and I am stupid. Seriously, I just read Kyle Baker’s How to Draw Stupid, and I was insulted when, page after page, Baker recommended drawing ME. And even still, I put this together much faster than these dopes.

I’m also not real into computer hacker stories. Because…okay, this one does that thing where the hacker can’t keep up with a superathlete, so the hacker does a bunch of shit like manipulating traffic lights so the athlete can’t cross, then has an ATM spit out money so a crowd forms that’s hard to get through, so on and so on, and this is possible while the hacker is also on the move, so she ends up beating the superathlete to a destination?

We’ve learned nothing from Office Space, a movie that proved you can take fractions of pennies, and THAT’S what you do as a computer hacker.

Or you maybe put my books on torrenting sites. Has anyone checked torrents for my shit? It’d be silly, they’re all available for free on Internet Archive and shit. “