-Electric chair executions will now be performed in threes, the chair-sitter holding hands with two other inmates.
-From now on I will be DRIVING home from work (downhill) and not driving back (uphill).
-Plastic bag use will be reduced by tying a plastic bag over my head and sprinting until all is black.
-All urine will be taking a “second run” through the body’s old filtration system.
-Batteries will be opened and the acid inside will be recycled by splashing it into people’s eyes.
-Reduce exhaust pollution by running a hose from car exhaust pipe into my bedroom, which also reduces Nyquil consumption.