Say “Shit” a bunch of times.
Consider calling someone.
Reconsider after realizing that there’s no way this conversation doesn’t begin with me explaining, through tears, how I was in the middle of watching a TV series from five years ago.
Decide to do something that doesn’t require power.
Look everywhere for a candle.
Find only a heavily scented candle.
Light candle.
Be briefly transported to a world of lavender and clean laundry.
Quickly nosedive into a hell world of having perfume counter scents sprayed into nostrils.
Use candle to move from room to room and illuminate the light switches over and over until it finally goddamn sinks in.
Go into a room without touching the light switch. Briefly celebrate.
Try another goddamn light switch.
Have an unbelievable and sudden desire for toast, which never otherwise happens.
Begin drafting to a letter explaining how I would like to be refunded for all the power I WOULD HAVE used during this time.
Throw letter away after penis drawings don’t seem to be coming out right due to darkness.
Consider going to bed at 8 PM.
Begin drafting letter to work explaining that when the power goes out on the weekend, one should be allowed to take those hours out of the following work week.
Complete letter, begin second letter explaining how employees should also receive two “Dream Days” which are days off to be used the day after dreaming about work all night.
Wonder why in the fuck the power STILL ISN’T ON. Mumble to self about it while eating a stale Red Vine.