“Out on the Wire: Uncovering the Secrets of Radio’s New Masters of Story with Ira Glass”

“This review is brought to you by MailChimp. No, wait, by Audible. Use offer code “DumbReviewer69” to get some kind of discount that’s not really a discount, but who cares? Just click on some shit.

The book itself. Pretty good. Definitely a guide to telling stories in a very next-gen NPR way. Most of the shows profiled were NPR or NPR-adjacent (such as RadioLab), which isn’t a slam, but does mean that you’re getting a picture through that lens.

Lots of good advice in here for all mediums, really. Especially the second half. Lots of talk about grinding down to the core of a story, being tough in a workshop situation, stuff like that.

But because this book was focused primarily on highly-produced, edited, thoughtful radio, I thought I could give some pointers on doing low-production, thoughtless, barely-edited radio. Of which I am not only a fan, but a creator. And a HUGE fan.

I think this is a necessary thing. Because anymore, it’s not like you need a staff and and office and fancy shit like shirts with buttons to do your own radio show and have it distributed in essentially the same way as any of the big guys.

Let’s go!

1. Just Start.
You have to start making shows. You can plan this to death, but I’d advise against it. Start, and then see what comes of it. It could be garbage. But then you’ve got experience. If you make a ton of plans and don’t follow through, then all you’ve got is a bunch of unfulfilled plans. Which you can stuff in a sack with your sorry’s, mister.

2. Set yourself a budget ceiling for the first 100 hours.
You don’t need to spend a couple thousand to make a show that sounds great. But you could probably stand to spend a little. Anyone who tells you that an iPhone’s built-in microphone will suffice is a liar. That person just wants to sabotage you. Don’t trust them. Punch them. My advice, set yourself a budget ceiling, and stick to it until you’ve recorded over a hundred hours of shows. If you hit that mark, then it might be worth investing in more. Or you can spend that hundo on a bus ticket to punch that person with the iPhone advice again.

3. It’s okay to talk smack.
I used to be so worried about talking smack about other shows or people that I liked. Don’t worry about it. Nobody is going to listen to your show. I’ve made my new signoff “Fuck Serial” and nobody has said a word. Go forward with that freedom.

4. Invite your friends.
The best part of doing an unscripted chat show is talking to your friends. That’s why I got into it. When you hit your mid-20’s, everyone gets married and buys houses in dumb other cities and has babies and all that stuff, and all your friends just kind of disappear. A radio show is a great reason to invite over a friend to talk for an hour. You and your friend surely have at least one good story between the two of you. If not, my god, get some new friends. Possibly punch the old friends. Most of my advice involves a punch at some stage.

5. Get good at talking, not at editing.
Edits take forever, and they’re a pain in the ass. Get used to talking in such a way that you don’t feel like you have to make a lot of cuts. Get used to maintaining forward momentum. I say this as a relentless editor when it comes to writing, so maybe part of the problem is that I’ve shot my editing wad by the time I get in front of a microphone. But listen to me, you’ll thank me later.

6. Keep a notebook in your pocket.
Write down things that you want to talk about all day every day. I’d advise you to do this no matter what. I find it fucking mindblowing that adults don’t carry pens. Who are you people? Who let you sign a lease for an apartment to live on your own? If I was a landlord, that would be my only requirement. If you had a pen to sign the lease, then you’ve got your shit together at least THAT MUCH. Your brain functions enough to at least recognize that there is a future on the horizon, and that future is probably going to require writing down some shit.

7. The biggest benefit.
The best part of having a radio show is that, when something bad happens to you, you think, “Man, this sucks. But this is going to be some great content.” When I got an infection and I thought my testicles were going to explode, I had to make a hospital trip, and I kinda thought I was headed for some surgery. But the whole time, I was thinking how, regardless, it would be pretty awesome to talk about how they put an ultrasound on my balls. Is it the same one they use for pregnant moms? Probably. That thing on your stomach, it was probably on my balls. I apologize, and let’s blame the cheap-ass hospital.

The point is, my balls were all up in a hospital.

No, wait.

The point is, the worst moments of your life will be a lot better because you’ll already be making them into a story. A narrative. And then you’ll lay it down on tape, and maybe your balls will still ache for WEEKS (REALLY!), but you’ll feel like you got something out of the deal, salvaged the lousy hand life dealt you.”