“Mars Attacks Collection”

“Why do golden retrievers always show up in these disaster movies and make it?

I’m sorry, but if Martians were death-raying everything that moves, I don’t think the goldens would last too long.

I put my money on the survival of old potato dogs who probably would stay in bed or on the porch, even if everyone was getting zapped. It’s entirely possible that in all the mayhem, the Martians wouldn’t even register those dogs as alive, and they’d pass right by. Maybe those Russian dogs who know how to ride the subway, they seem like they have a good shot.

That’s why this book is a reminder: cherish the time you have with your golden. Because when the Martians come, he’s probably going to run up to a bipedal Martian war machine and drop a tennis ball at its feet.”