Locker Vents

Can anyone explain to me why lockers have vents on the front?  I don’t understand that at all.  Honestly, I always had this fantasy about putting cheese slices or lunch meat in every locker vent right before Christmas vacation.  THAT seemed like a great use, but certainly not what they were designed for.

I guess maybe it was so that people who got shoved in there wouldn’t run out of air.  But couldn’t they just make a little latch, like you have inside the trunk of the car?  The one that shows the little man escaping from a potentially horrific kidnapping?

Besides, what’s a school without a haunted locker where a nerd who only kind of deserved it died?  It’s important to learn these lessons when you’re young, the lessons on how to feign sadness for someone who you didn’t really even know but have to be sad about because he’s a kid and he’s dead.

In fact, I would have preferred to keep my lunch in an oxygen-free environment if that were possible.  Your locker could act as a giant tupperware.  Think of the savings!  Just show up at school with a handful of spaghetti in the morning and throw it in there.