King’s Quest Quests We Don’t Talk About

Step One:
Find the honeycomb.

Step Two:
Give the honeycomb to the bear guarding the enchanted cave.

Step Three:
Try to look surprised when villagers mention that it seems someone has decimated the bee population in the area, possibly by destroying all the bee hives with fire.

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Step One:
Trick the bookseller into selling you the cursed book.

Step Two:
Give the cursed book to the evil wizard.

Step Three:
Spend years apologizing and trying to rebuild trust between yourself and the bookseller, who only sold you the book because he’s your great uncle.

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Step One:
Find the giant in the forest.

Step Two:
Use the mouse to frighten the giant away.

Step Three:
Discover sad hovel of giant, all doorframes badly dented from his repeated walking into them, all chairs broken, all furniture stacked atop a pile of wobbling rocks, and notebooks filled with his sad laments and wishes that he was not normal, just slightly less giant.

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Step One:
Allow evil duke to throw you into the labyrinth.

Step Two:
Confront Minotaur.

Step Three:
Give up on quest entirely as a world with bull head men is not something you were prepared for and frankly calls into question everything you’ve ever known to be real and good.

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Step One:
Find gnome village.

Step Two:
Sell gnomes into slavery, a controversial move that ignites a civil war the likes of which the land has never seen.

Step Three:
Renounce slavery later in life and allow a growing fried chicken business to utilize your visage as a mascot.