“This was my third crack at this one. Every time I thought, “Huh. Why didn’t I finish this last time?” And there was always a good reason.
Now I’m definitively calling it finished even though I didn’t actually…finish.
The first third to half of this book is awesome. Shit monster. Doorknob turns into a penis. Everything great, supernatural, gross and funny that you want it to be.
Then, at a certain point (the big part that seems like a climax. With the fountain, if you want to read without spoilers), the book gets into this weird thing where David loses his memory, and he also has trouble making new memories, it seems, and we get some situations that aren’t really situations. They’re just problems because he doesn’t do the normal thing anyone would do of investigating the situation just 2% further.
It’s a staple of horror, the whole idea that we’re constantly screaming at the characters because they’re clearly making bad choices. It’s part of the fun, in a way. But it’s also one of the tropes I hate. I don’t have a problem with someone running upstairs when they should run out the front door. I know what I would do, but I’m not the one being chased by someone in an ill-fitting William Shatner mask, complete with hairpiece. But in this book, that trope is mixed with an unreliable narrator and a dash of the narrator seemingly coming in and out of reality because he’s tripping balls, which isn’t my bag. If you’ve got a supernatural situation, and you’ve got someone going in and out of reality, and if I’m hearing the account of this person, what am I getting, really?
If this book had wrapped up after the big battle that seemed like the climax, complete with hilarious chair-related action movie lines, it would totally be a 4-star-er for me. And so, in a bold move, I’m giving it 4 stars and just advising that you only read up to that part. I think that portion ends and it even says “Book II.” Is it a non-traditional way to read? Totally. But I think you’ll like the way it reads. I guarantee it. [read those last lines again, but like the guy from Men’s Wearhouse]”