“The Temperature is 58-degrees today.”
Oh, um, shit. Shit? Well, maybe not shit. I don’t know. The sun is the part that does the warming? Okay, and it’s still early. I think we’re cool.
*
“Windchill factor of -10-degrees.”
I’m sorry, but I don’t know how fast of a wind that is. I know three speeds of wind:
1. Not enough for kites.
2. Perfect for kites.
3. Miserable for all, DESTROYS kites.
So if you could report the wind in a more relatable way, that would be appreciated.
*
“Chance of precipitation 86%”
I’m watching fucking snow right now. So you don’t even give a damn. Not one damn. If you did, you would at least refresh your web site.
*
“And here’s today’s dew point.”
Here’s the Dew Point: I look outside and say, “DO I think there’s POINT enough to my life to exit my apartment today?”