“Cryptid Club”

“What a delight! Although I feel bad for poor Bigfoot.
You know what I don’t like? That new cryptids, like Slenderman, have a known creator. That’s some bullshit.
If you create a cryptid that catches on, do the world a favor and don’t tell anyone. It’s a gift to the world.
I guess this is my way of saying that I DEFINITELY didn’t create SnakePushkin, an ape-like creature that perfectly combines the attributes of Snake Plissken and Alexander Pushkin. It’s a weird combo, but when pushkin comes to shovekin, it all works out.”