Crossword Puzzle Clues That Make Me Think, “Oh Christ, I Hope the Answer Isn’t Me”

2 Down:  Frequent overstayer of welcomes.

3 Down:  Caterpillar-browed gentleman.

9 Down:  Leaver of yard urine.

12 Down:  “Oh my god, turn off the lights and pretend there’s no party.  Here comes _________!”

14 Down: Has told EVERYONE about the time he had diarrhea after buying new sheets.