Cherry Stems in the 80’s

cherryCan anyone explain to me why, in an 80’s movie, people thought a girl was awesome at sex if she could tie a cherry stem into a knot?

First of all, I don’t mean to brag, but my penis is at least twice as wide as your average to large cherry stem.  So really it’s not very comparable.  It’s not like a cherry stem is the size of a banana (although I don’t really dig on the banana thing either.   Eating a banana is a healthy choice and I think the kind of lady I’m likely to attract is much less the sensually eating a banana type and more the give me one good reason I can’t smoke in your precious lobby variety).

And what about the knotting?  How is that supposed to make me excited?  Gee whiz, I sure hope she uses her tongue to break my penis.  Golly, nothing gets me hotter than thinking about my penis being stretched to the point of destruction.  Could you ruin my genitals?  That would be just swell.

Maybe it was a bar thing.  Maybe people were drinking more drinks that had cherries in them in the 80’s.  Or maybe that was a thing.  You’d order a beer for a dude and say, “Put a cherry in there too so I can take it out and threaten to rock his world with semi-violence perpetrated on fruit.”

To me, all it suggests is that a person spent a lot of time fooling around with cherry stems.

And come on.  It’s not like people are doing this with other orifices.  Watch me jam a tangerine in my butthole and then shoot it out, peeled, peel all in one piece.  No.  Just a cherry stem.

And shouldn’t this have been something guys were doing?  It seems to me, from a one-sided perspective, that the performing oral on a lady maneuver is a lot more acrobatic tongue-wise than going down on a dude.

I just don’t get it.  I just don’t see this weird act and think, This lady knows how to bang.