Today was a rest/stretching day.
I suck at stretching. I’m one of the least flexible people I’ve ever met. And yes, I ask people if they’re flexible all the time. Which comes off as very gross, but I can’t help it. I’m determined to not be the least flexible person of all time, which means constantly searching, constantly seeking, constantly reaching for that brass ring, which is just out of reach because it’s on the floor and I can only take it if I can reach it without bending my knees.
We used to do this Presidental fitness test thing in school. Which was funny because I wasn’t in particularly good shape, but I still thought I could whip the President’s ass. George Bush? That dude was old as hell.
There were push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, the Mile. Oh, the dreaded mile. And there was Sit and Reach.
Sit and Reach was definitely the lamest. You sat, you reached forward, and then you got a score. Or you failed, like me, because you’re not flexible.
I always thought it was dumb because it’s not like the mile, where you can be out of shape and sort of gut it out. Or like a pull-up where you might be able to squeeze in one more if you’ve got the grit. It’s sort of like having height be a fitness test.
But you know what? I didn’t give a shit. Show me the action movie where Arnold is stretching, then middle school me will care about stretching.