Shot Bloks? More like Shit Bloks. Wait, more like Shit Blocks. A Blok is not a thing. A Shot Bloke is a thing. That’s a dude you can drink with. A Shit Block is a thing. Believe me, that’s a… Continue Reading
The first time I ran 10 miles was pretty wild. Not so much for me as it was for my coach. At the end of every track and cross-country season, when it was clear you weren’t going to be competing… Continue Reading
There’s a lot of concern about viewing Monday’s eclipse. But don’t worry, there are plenty of safe, fun ways to get in on the fun. Just follow these tips and you’ll be fine! 1. While viewing the eclipse, don’t forget… Continue Reading
I don’t think this marathon is going to be life-changing. Based on the last one not being life-changing. I’m pretty sure running a marathon is on that list of life-changing events. With, I don’t know, skydiving, climbing Kiliminjaro, learning how… Continue Reading
Butt updates. Just what you wanted.
Something I forget about when I run less is how bad people are at not hitting (or almost hitting) me with their cars. To be fair, I don’t specifically remember being told how to not hit someone with a car… Continue Reading
There’s this book called Ultramarathon Man. In it, this dude, Dean Karnazes, talks about running ultramarathons. Which was pretty incredible, but not more incredible than his diet. Once, in the middle of a long run, he ordered a pizza: Half… Continue Reading
We talked a little about carrying water. But I don’t think I knew what I was getting into. I mean, look at all this stuff! Let’s look at some options. This is probably overkill. Also, I feel like this vest,… Continue Reading
I’m coming up to a problem. My long run this week is supposed to be 90 minutes. Which is a pretty long time to be doing anything. Let alone running out in the sun. Before long I’m going to need… Continue Reading
Long run. 80 minutes long. 80 minutes is a long time. It’s always been amazing to me that 80 minutes seems as long as it does when you’re running and as short as it does when you’re watching TV. Assuming… Continue Reading
Guests! Plus, the weirdest episode of Legends of Tomorrow. Was 9-11 an inside job?
Fartlek run. You read that right. Especially if it sounded like “fart lick” in your head, and especially if you laughed. So a fartlek is a word that means “speed play,” and just so happens to also sound like licking… Continue Reading
As our talk of bumper stickers continues, this one’s for the ladies. If I remember correctly, Jack fell down and broke his crown. He split his skull open. And apparently Jill is standing by his hospital bed, where he’s… Continue Reading
Jobs. We all need em. We allllllllll need em.
You know those white oval stickers that say 26.2 or 13.1 in them? I saw one on an electrician’s truck that said 0.0 I wasn’t sure if this was making fun of runners or if this might’ve been some inside… Continue Reading
There was a need to make an adjustment. See, on the weekend I’m headed to do some tubing. Which is a sport that involves drinking beers while floating down a river. This wouldn’t seem like something that would prevent me… Continue Reading
Run Forrest Run. This is STILL the go-to taunt to yell at a runner. I can’t figure it out. It’s so fucking old at this point. It references a movie that most folks under the age of 25 probably haven’t… Continue Reading
While running I’ve seen a lot of kitties. I don’t know why this keeps happening. I guess, as a runner, you see a lot more cats roaming about because you yourself are roaming about. This is a very underrated and… Continue Reading
This was the first long run that felt like a REALLY long run. Also, I downloaded a couple movie commentary tracks. Yes. That’s where I’ve gone for entertainment. I started with a Kevin Smith movie because I figured it’d have… Continue Reading
Some good shit;
Boredom threshold. I have a REALLY low threshold for boredom. Possibly because I’ve got some weird brain chemistry. My euphemism is “busy brain.” It seems like my brain is pretty disorganized, busy, and gets bored a lot quicker than most.… Continue Reading
Yesterday I mentioned something about endorphins. I’ve heard this weird thing from time to time. About “runner’s high.” Often this is couched in the idea that runners are basically addicted to running, and they’re running to get slightly fucked up.… Continue Reading
Last night was a cross-training day. So I hit the gymnasium. Not too long ago, when I used the word “gymnasium,” someone commented “I haven’t heard someone use the word ‘gymnasium’ since elementary school.” It’s true, most people say they’re… Continue Reading
We have newlyweds, so of course we have a newlywed game. Women overboard, dirty dishes, and spaceships.
This sums up most of what needs to be said: Yeah, I’m a sweater. A sweatheart. I have a distinct memory of going to a dance class as a youth and attempting to put antiperspirant all the way around my… Continue Reading
Yesterday we talked celebrity times. I’ve been sort of hesitating looking up my own time from a marathon about 10 years ago. Partly because I feel like it’ll make me feel old, partly because I don’t want to write a… Continue Reading
Today was my first long run. 1 hour. Which seemed especially long when I thought about it being a quarter of the total race in all likelihood. I started wondering if I should be thinking about a goal time. I… Continue Reading
I just found out that at the end of the race there will be beer. And that beer is Michelob Ultra. I’ve never had a Michelob Ultra. I have a pretty good diet, but I kinda think the idea of… Continue Reading
The thrilling conclusion in which the arkade is saved!
Today I remembered one of my favorite running stories, one that comes from my running life. Here it is: I ran track in high school. And cross-country. I mostly sucked, but that’s irrelevant. I just wanted to say it so… Continue Reading
Do you think anyone ever asked Bob Seger whether the night moves he was working on were for deployment during the day or the night? Or do you think anyone ever asks Usain Bolt how long the 100-meter dash is?… Continue Reading
Today is a cross-training day. I thought I’d be cute and say something about how Jesus was the original cross trainer. And then I googled it and it turns out this joke has been made already. Although maybe not as… Continue Reading
It’s my second day of training, but my first day of running. For more on how this is possible, read yesterday’s post. Or don’t. Doesn’t matter. The point is, the running has begun. Today’s thing was a 30 minute run.… Continue Reading
As some of you may know, I’ll be running a marathon in November. In Las Vegas. This 4 hours or so will probably end up being the longest run I ever make (time-wise) and also the longest time I spend… Continue Reading
A brief introduction to the Arkade!
It by Stephen King My rating: 5 of 5 stars It’s great. Duh. Also, the longest book I’ve ever read. You might think you get it from the movie. But the first movie doesn’t do IT justice. Or do it… Continue Reading
He hates that he looks like Elvis because he feels Elvis is an overrated musician and underrated misogynist. He wears unneeded glasses in hopes of looking more like Rivers Cuomo, but nobody ever tell him that he’s succeeded. Also, he’s… Continue Reading
Mambo #6: List of weird venues where Lou Bega performed “Mambo #5.” Mambo #7: List of women Lou Bega did not sleep with, but sort of wished he had. Mambo #8: List of women Loud Bega did not sleep with,… Continue Reading
I went to Tennessee one time. There was Ripley, necessary pizza, Dolly, and lotsa other shit.
Try this one on for size. And then return it to Target. Target takes old underwear back. And then tapes the package closed and tries to re-sell it. And then, when you accidentally buy that box, YOU have to return… Continue Reading
Chuck Klosterman Presents Chuck Klosterman X: The Audio Companion to a Highly Specific and Defiantly Incomplete History of the Early 21st Century by Chuck Klosterman My rating: 5 of 5 stars Ahha! Meagan showed me how to review more than… Continue Reading
Another episode in the car. I just can’t stop driving. And having stuff put into my butt. What a banner year for the show.
Chuck Klosterman X: A Highly Specific, Defiantly Incomplete History of the Early 21st Century by Chuck Klosterman My rating: 5 of 5 stars Great, as you might expect. Some highlights are pieces about Olympic sprinters, Eddie Van Halen, and a… Continue Reading
HYPERtheticals: 50 Questions for Insane Conversations by Chuck Klosterman My rating: 5 of 5 stars This is the best board/card game on the planet, hands-down. These are tough hypothetical questions, and as the author puts it, the point really isn’t… Continue Reading
I decided, for today, to try and write a short essay in response to some of those writing assessment assignments from public schools. Enjoy! A wealthy donor plans to build a new facility that will benefit young people in your… Continue Reading
I know, we’re all very disappointed that our great nation is not part of the Paris Climate Thingy. Assuming you’re reading this from America. If you’re reading this from somewhere else, I guess welcome(?) I don’t know why Americans read… Continue Reading
Atomic Robo: Atomic Robo and the Ring of Fire by Brian Clevinger My rating: 4 of 5 stars It’s fucking volume 10. If you’re not already in at this point, then what am I going to tell you that will… Continue Reading
Captain America: Steve Rogers, Volume 2: The Trial of Maria Hill by Nick Spencer My rating: 3 of 5 stars Whoa-ho. There is SO MUCH DIALOGUE in this book that there’s barely room for art in the panels. The dialogue… Continue Reading
Is anyone reading this part? Is anyone seeing the album art I work so hard on? Is anyone anything?
Captain America: Steve Rogers, Volume 1: Hail Hydra by Nick Spencer My rating: 3 of 5 stars I’ll warn you before we get into spoilers. Which we will. If you’re not going to read this one because “OMG, they made… Continue Reading