Online Lecture One: American Movie

I’ve thought a lot about what I would teach if I were to teach a writing class. So, as a challenge, I’m going to try and write a short essay/assignment weekly for the next 15 weeks. Enjoy!


Have you seen American Movie? No, it’s not an American Pie thing. It’s like…it’s a different thing from pie fucking.

Also, fucking a pie? The obvious choice for fucking a baked good is a donut. It’s portable, can be held upright without making a mess, it has a hole, and it doesn’t take someone like 3 hours to make just for you to ruin it with your dumb penis.

Anyway, I think we’re already starting to see why I have to do these “class lectures” in this format. Most universities aren’t really into lecturers talking about the ins and outs of pastry fucking. I know this to be true. I’ve sent letters. Ditto community colleges. And online scam colleges. Even THOSE aren’t into this whole thing. Go figure.

THIS is American Movie:

American Movie is shown in a lot of film school programs, and it seems like an obvious choice. It’s a really good movie about making movies.

But that’s not the reason it’s shown. Not all of the reason, anyway.

Here’s how I heard it’s sold to classes of incoming film students:

Go home, watch this. If you’re watching this and you realize that you don’t want to make movies as badly as Mark, then don’t come back.

As much as American Movie is a movie about this and that, it’s a movie about passion. Which is kind of a stupid word to use sometimes, which is probably why the assignment is to watch an entire movie that’s devoted to the subject I’ll savage by calling it “passion.”

Nothing about making a movie is easy for Mark. He’s gotta find the money. He’s gotta get the equipment. He’s gotta write the script. He’s gotta film everything. He’s gotta play Tom Savini and figure out cheap, practical ways to create all the special effects.

Mark hears a lot of No. A lot of people tell him that he’s doing things the wrong way or making bad decisions. People who are close to him and care about him. And all of these people, they’re 100% right.

But the thing that you’ve gotta understand about making art, very rarely is it a rational endeavor. Very rarely is making a movie or writing a book something that will provide anything approaching a good return on investment, whether you’re talking an investment of time, money, emotion.

Very often, good art is a bad idea.

Your first assignment is to watch American Movie. And as you watch, I want you to have something in mind. Something you’re passionate about. And I want you to ask yourself, “Am I as passionate about this as Mark is about filmmaking?”

The thing is, with every class, I think the first question is something like, “Are we going to use this in real life?”

I’d like to reframe that question. Because it’s not about whether or not you’ll use your education. It’s about whether or not you’re in the right place.

If you’re in the right place, you’ll find that you use pieces of everything you learn. If you’re not, then you’ll find yourself asking the question of real life use all the time.

I can’t answer that question for you. Instead, I’ll tell you to watch this movie and answer the question for yourself.

C’mon, I’m giving you the question AND the material with which to answer the question. What more do I have to do here?

If you decide these lectures aren’t for you, cool. Now we both know and we can stop wasting time.

If you watch and feel like…maybe. Maybe this is for me. Then welcome.