This sums up most of what needs to be said: Yeah, I’m a sweater. A sweatheart. I have a distinct memory of going to a dance class as a youth and attempting to put antiperspirant all the way around my… Continue Reading
Yesterday we talked celebrity times. I’ve been sort of hesitating looking up my own time from a marathon about 10 years ago. Partly because I feel like it’ll make me feel old, partly because I don’t want to write a… Continue Reading
Today was my first long run. 1 hour. Which seemed especially long when I thought about it being a quarter of the total race in all likelihood. I started wondering if I should be thinking about a goal time. I… Continue Reading
I just found out that at the end of the race there will be beer. And that beer is Michelob Ultra. I’ve never had a Michelob Ultra. I have a pretty good diet, but I kinda think the idea of… Continue Reading
The thrilling conclusion in which the arkade is saved!
Today I remembered one of my favorite running stories, one that comes from my running life. Here it is: I ran track in high school. And cross-country. I mostly sucked, but that’s irrelevant. I just wanted to say it so… Continue Reading
Do you think anyone ever asked Bob Seger whether the night moves he was working on were for deployment during the day or the night? Or do you think anyone ever asks Usain Bolt how long the 100-meter dash is?… Continue Reading
Today is a cross-training day. I thought I’d be cute and say something about how Jesus was the original cross trainer. And then I googled it and it turns out this joke has been made already. Although maybe not as… Continue Reading
It’s my second day of training, but my first day of running. For more on how this is possible, read yesterday’s post. Or don’t. Doesn’t matter. The point is, the running has begun. Today’s thing was a 30 minute run.… Continue Reading
As some of you may know, I’ll be running a marathon in November. In Las Vegas. This 4 hours or so will probably end up being the longest run I ever make (time-wise) and also the longest time I spend… Continue Reading
A brief introduction to the Arkade!
It by Stephen King My rating: 5 of 5 stars It’s great. Duh. Also, the longest book I’ve ever read. You might think you get it from the movie. But the first movie doesn’t do IT justice. Or do it… Continue Reading
He hates that he looks like Elvis because he feels Elvis is an overrated musician and underrated misogynist. He wears unneeded glasses in hopes of looking more like Rivers Cuomo, but nobody ever tell him that he’s succeeded. Also, he’s… Continue Reading
Mambo #6: List of weird venues where Lou Bega performed “Mambo #5.” Mambo #7: List of women Lou Bega did not sleep with, but sort of wished he had. Mambo #8: List of women Loud Bega did not sleep with,… Continue Reading
I went to Tennessee one time. There was Ripley, necessary pizza, Dolly, and lotsa other shit.
Try this one on for size. And then return it to Target. Target takes old underwear back. And then tapes the package closed and tries to re-sell it. And then, when you accidentally buy that box, YOU have to return… Continue Reading
Chuck Klosterman Presents Chuck Klosterman X: The Audio Companion to a Highly Specific and Defiantly Incomplete History of the Early 21st Century by Chuck Klosterman My rating: 5 of 5 stars Ahha! Meagan showed me how to review more than… Continue Reading
Another episode in the car. I just can’t stop driving. And having stuff put into my butt. What a banner year for the show.
Chuck Klosterman X: A Highly Specific, Defiantly Incomplete History of the Early 21st Century by Chuck Klosterman My rating: 5 of 5 stars Great, as you might expect. Some highlights are pieces about Olympic sprinters, Eddie Van Halen, and a… Continue Reading
HYPERtheticals: 50 Questions for Insane Conversations by Chuck Klosterman My rating: 5 of 5 stars This is the best board/card game on the planet, hands-down. These are tough hypothetical questions, and as the author puts it, the point really isn’t… Continue Reading
I decided, for today, to try and write a short essay in response to some of those writing assessment assignments from public schools. Enjoy! A wealthy donor plans to build a new facility that will benefit young people in your… Continue Reading
I know, we’re all very disappointed that our great nation is not part of the Paris Climate Thingy. Assuming you’re reading this from America. If you’re reading this from somewhere else, I guess welcome(?) I don’t know why Americans read… Continue Reading
Atomic Robo: Atomic Robo and the Ring of Fire by Brian Clevinger My rating: 4 of 5 stars It’s fucking volume 10. If you’re not already in at this point, then what am I going to tell you that will… Continue Reading
Captain America: Steve Rogers, Volume 2: The Trial of Maria Hill by Nick Spencer My rating: 3 of 5 stars Whoa-ho. There is SO MUCH DIALOGUE in this book that there’s barely room for art in the panels. The dialogue… Continue Reading
Is anyone reading this part? Is anyone seeing the album art I work so hard on? Is anyone anything?
Captain America: Steve Rogers, Volume 1: Hail Hydra by Nick Spencer My rating: 3 of 5 stars I’ll warn you before we get into spoilers. Which we will. If you’re not going to read this one because “OMG, they made… Continue Reading
Power Man and Iron Fist, Vol. 1: The Boys are Back in Town by David F. Walker My rating: 4 of 5 stars Good book! Funny, some punching, and a few different storytelling styles. It’s not a life-changing book (yet),… Continue Reading
There’s this thing going on right now where a movie theater chain is doing “Women Only” screenings of the new Wonder Woman movie. I had a gut reaction, and then a post-gut reaction. Wanna go through them together? My first,… Continue Reading
Denis Johnson has passed away, and it’s a pretty sad minute here. Johnson was inspiration for a lot of us. And de-inspiration too. Sometimes a really great piece of writing spurs you on, and sometimes it’s so good as to… Continue Reading
To celebrate 40 years of Star Wars, I’m writing a thing about why I’m not really into Star Wars anymore. Listen, for my people, Star Wars holidays are borderline holy. And as such, we all observe them in our own… Continue Reading
After last week’s cliffdangler, find out how my colonoscopy went. Hello? Can anyone hear me? Is anyone listening to this?
The colonoscopy prepisode! Pour yourself a glass of Colyte and come along with me on a fantastic voyage of the mind. And butt.
How to Lose a Marathon: A Starter’s Guide to Finishing in 26.2 Chapters by Joel Cohen My rating: 4 of 5 stars I would read a book about Joel Cohen losing at anything. Hey, losing isn’t just about races and… Continue Reading
Don’t tell anyone this part, but I don’t have my complete, totally finished ghost detective license yet. I’m really close. Just a couple more classes. But if people knew that I wasn’t a complete, whole, legitimate paranormal investigator, they’d flip.… Continue Reading
A long ride off a short Peter.
Today I get to talk about someone good! This is exciting. You may have heard about Stephen Colbert’s trouble with the FCC over his Trump joke: The only thing your mouth is good at is being Vladimir Putin’s cock holster.… Continue Reading
The Million Dollar Policeman by John Swartzwelder My rating: 5 of 5 stars Because this book chronicles the exploits of the worst policeman ever, I thought it would be fun to look at some real police blunders. 2010: A woman… Continue Reading
Get down with some sickness.
When the dame walked into my office, the first thing I noticed was the legs that went all the way up to where the top of where legs go. Which is good because I’d just had a thing with a… Continue Reading
We play ketchup.
Before any of this, know that an article much better, shorter, and funnier than this has already been written and brought to my attention, and I recommend it. This is no way to run a web site, but fuck off,… Continue Reading
The Last Detective Alive by John Swartzwelder My rating: 5 of 5 stars Just fuckin’ read it. I am totally making a bold claim: Swartzwelder is the English language’s ONLY true comedy novelist. Other people write funny books, but I’ve… Continue Reading
Today’s lecture is about poetry, prose, a failure, and the best piece of writing advice I ever got. All rolled into one lil’ thing. Aren’t you lucky? When I was in college I took some poetry classes. I’d read a… Continue Reading
When donating to charity it’s not always possible to donate to the arts without thinking, “Damn, maybe I should be donating to something more serious.” And it’s hard to donate to something more serious without thinking, “Shitballs, who is going… Continue Reading
Essential Amazing Spider-Man, Vol. 6 by Gerry Conway My rating: 3 of 5 stars Update: Finished! My project of reading all of ASM stalled out for a bit, but I’m back. With a vengeane! In pog form! All the ways… Continue Reading
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein My rating: 3 of 5 stars This book has definitely gotten a bad rap recently. The generation that grew up with this book is now looking back at it with adult eyes and saying,… Continue Reading
The Enforcers hit the scene. Fancy, cowboy, and big guy!
Good Morning, Superman! by Michael Dahl My rating: 3 of 5 stars Superman saves Metropolis. A kid gets out of bed. Seems like equal work. If I was Superman, I’d be insulted by this book. And then I’d probably complain… Continue Reading
Advice. Back to some roots.