There’s this thing going on right now where a movie theater chain is doing “Women Only” screenings of the new Wonder Woman movie. I had a gut reaction, and then a post-gut reaction. Wanna go through them together? My first,… Continue Reading
Denis Johnson has passed away, and it’s a pretty sad minute here. Johnson was inspiration for a lot of us. And de-inspiration too. Sometimes a really great piece of writing spurs you on, and sometimes it’s so good as to… Continue Reading
To celebrate 40 years of Star Wars, I’m writing a thing about why I’m not really into Star Wars anymore. Listen, for my people, Star Wars holidays are borderline holy. And as such, we all observe them in our own… Continue Reading
After last week’s cliffdangler, find out how my colonoscopy went. Hello? Can anyone hear me? Is anyone listening to this?
The colonoscopy prepisode! Pour yourself a glass of Colyte and come along with me on a fantastic voyage of the mind. And butt.
How to Lose a Marathon: A Starter’s Guide to Finishing in 26.2 Chapters by Joel Cohen My rating: 4 of 5 stars I would read a book about Joel Cohen losing at anything. Hey, losing isn’t just about races and… Continue Reading
Don’t tell anyone this part, but I don’t have my complete, totally finished ghost detective license yet. I’m really close. Just a couple more classes. But if people knew that I wasn’t a complete, whole, legitimate paranormal investigator, they’d flip.… Continue Reading
A long ride off a short Peter.
Today I get to talk about someone good! This is exciting. You may have heard about Stephen Colbert’s trouble with the FCC over his Trump joke: The only thing your mouth is good at is being Vladimir Putin’s cock holster.… Continue Reading
The Million Dollar Policeman by John Swartzwelder My rating: 5 of 5 stars Because this book chronicles the exploits of the worst policeman ever, I thought it would be fun to look at some real police blunders. 2010: A woman… Continue Reading
Get down with some sickness.
When the dame walked into my office, the first thing I noticed was the legs that went all the way up to where the top of where legs go. Which is good because I’d just had a thing with a… Continue Reading
We play ketchup.
Before any of this, know that an article much better, shorter, and funnier than this has already been written and brought to my attention, and I recommend it. This is no way to run a web site, but fuck off,… Continue Reading
The Last Detective Alive by John Swartzwelder My rating: 5 of 5 stars Just fuckin’ read it. I am totally making a bold claim: Swartzwelder is the English language’s ONLY true comedy novelist. Other people write funny books, but I’ve… Continue Reading
Today’s lecture is about poetry, prose, a failure, and the best piece of writing advice I ever got. All rolled into one lil’ thing. Aren’t you lucky? When I was in college I took some poetry classes. I’d read a… Continue Reading
When donating to charity it’s not always possible to donate to the arts without thinking, “Damn, maybe I should be donating to something more serious.” And it’s hard to donate to something more serious without thinking, “Shitballs, who is going… Continue Reading
Essential Amazing Spider-Man, Vol. 6 by Gerry Conway My rating: 3 of 5 stars Update: Finished! My project of reading all of ASM stalled out for a bit, but I’m back. With a vengeane! In pog form! All the ways… Continue Reading
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein My rating: 3 of 5 stars This book has definitely gotten a bad rap recently. The generation that grew up with this book is now looking back at it with adult eyes and saying,… Continue Reading
The Enforcers hit the scene. Fancy, cowboy, and big guy!
Good Morning, Superman! by Michael Dahl My rating: 3 of 5 stars Superman saves Metropolis. A kid gets out of bed. Seems like equal work. If I was Superman, I’d be insulted by this book. And then I’d probably complain… Continue Reading
Advice. Back to some roots.
Gwenpool, the Unbelievable, Vol. 1: Believe It by Christopher Hastings My rating: 3 of 5 stars I’m of two minds on this one. On the one hand, it’s pretty fun, pretty funny, and it fulfills its fairly ridiculous promise. On… Continue Reading
Invincible Iron Man, Volume 1: Reboot by Brian Michael Bendis My rating: 4 of 5 stars A pretty good Iron Man book. I think most of Bendis’ detractors would agree he has more trouble with epic crossover books and does… Continue Reading
The Dark Knight Returns: The Last Crusade by Frank Miller My rating: 3 of 5 stars It’s short, but the story is decent. And John Romita Jr just keeps cementing himself as a favorite artist for me with everything he… Continue Reading
Snotgirl, Vol. 1: Green Hair Don’t Care by Bryan Lee O’Malley My rating: 2 of 5 stars If you’re looking for a comic to makes you feel like a one-thousand year old man who doesn’t give a hot damn about… Continue Reading
Spider-Woman: Shifting Gears, Volume 1: Baby Talk by Dennis Hopeless My rating: 3 of 5 stars I’m anti-meh. So can I say…smeh? The art was pretty great. When we were in the alien hospital, that was awesome. Very creative, very… Continue Reading
All butt, all the time.
Faith, Volume 1: Hollywood & Vine by Jody Houser My rating: 4 of 5 stars Finally! I finally got to read this one, and I’ve finally found what I was looking for: a book that tackles an issue of representation… Continue Reading
Here Comes Destructosaurus! by Aaron Reynolds My rating: 5 of 5 stars This story veered dangerously close to a couple kid book tropes that I really hate. But I’m happy to report that both were avoided! Kid Book Trope 1:… Continue Reading
Earth’s Biggest Fan: by John Swartzwelder My rating: 5 of 5 stars These books are so fucking funny. There’s no reason to not read them. This one’s a great starter if you’re unfamiliar. It’s short, and it’s sweet. I wrote… Continue Reading
When asked how long it takes to prep a speech, Woodrow Wilson said, That depends on the length of the speech…If it is a ten-minute speech it takes me all of two weeks to prepare it; if it is a… Continue Reading
Uh, so I found out the trouble with the dude who made the music that intro’ed and outro’ed the last show is very right now. Which, I assure you, I did not know the depth/breadth of. I don’t have anything… Continue Reading
Every year Maximum Fun does their MaxFun Drive. I’m not sure about the spacing on that. Maxfun Drive? MaxFun Drive? MaxFunDrive? Also, they never answered my letters (shouting out of my apartment window) regarding calling it Maximum Funverdrive. But whatever.… Continue Reading
There’s this great movie called Warrior. It’s about ultimate fighting, sort of, but I swear, it’s great. I don’t like that shit in real life, and I love Warrior. Most people I know don’t love fight sports, and they love Warrior. I would tell you… Continue Reading
Breen is at it again. Plus we had a joke that wasn’t a joke.
Shortly after the release of Rogue One, fans everywhere were speculating whether the characters Chirrut and Baze were gay. And today, the rumoring continues over at Buzzfeed. The quotes from Rogue One director Gareth Edwards: “That wasn’t the original intention…But… Continue Reading
It’s been a little while since the last Bic For Her Update. How’s it going? I hate it. And, you know, I thought I would. But I think I hate it for reasons that I didn’t expect. It’s not the… Continue Reading
Every time I log into the Goodreads app, I have to see an inspirational quote. It’s like working in an office and seeing one of those dumb posters with a picture of, I dunno, a whale breaching, and below it… Continue Reading
1995: A Brady Bunch movie. Huh. I guess I would care about that if I cared about the Brady Bunch. [crickets] 1997: When Leslie Nielsen can’t get a 13 year-old Pete to watch a movie, you’ve failed, Mr. Magoo. [crickets] 1998: Lost In… Continue Reading
Ramblin Man, that is for sure.
Every year we have a very lazy debate about the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Why? How can a magazine that touts the accomplishments of ALL athletes still objectify women? It’s a silly debate, and it’s hurtful. It poses the women who… Continue Reading
Protesting, yes. Signs, no. While protesting and marching are a way to show our solidarity and commitment to a cause, signs have become a way to set ourselves apart from the crowd. Indeed, in a time when we’re supposed to… Continue Reading
I’m about to talk about how comics are a great way to learn about writing, and I’m about to do that by talking about a story I invented as a youngster where the Flash’s head filled up with semen until… Continue Reading
How to de-motivate after you are motivated.
Spidey, Volume 2: After-School Special by Robbie Thompson My rating: 4 of 5 stars I liked this one better than the first. WAY less Peter Parker stuff, way more Spidey. I’ve always said that comics are really more like soap… Continue Reading
Riveting conversation with your spouse. Who is me.
I get texts from Amazon when a delivery attempt fails or succeeds. Amazon loves texting me. I don’t know how to make it stop. I feel like I could figure it out with minimal investigation, but then I also feel… Continue Reading
Spidey, Volume 1: First Day by Robbie Thompson My rating: 3 of 5 stars Hmm…Hmm…Hmm… Last year I wrote an article that was critical of comics’, especially Marvel’s, tendency to de-age their characters. They’ve made some diversity movements, and that’s… Continue Reading