Marathon Journey: Day 19

As our talk of bumper stickers continues, this one’s for the ladies.


If I remember correctly, Jack fell down and broke his crown. He split his skull open. And apparently Jill is standing by his hospital bed, where he’s in a coma, and she’s telling people “You know, we RACED up the hill before this happened, and I totally won.” Classy, Jill. Real classy.This one is a double-meaning, which I get, except it sort of falls apart because the one meaning is about moisture from the sky, and the other is implying that you like running in the rain so much that you become sexually aroused. Which is fine, I guess, and you should definitely move somewhere where the climate is suitable to your peccadillos. Also, feel free to keep your arousal specifics a little more “need to know” than having them on a bumper sticker. I don’t have a bumper sticker that says, “The duck boobs in Howard The Duck when I was like 11.”
You know what I find weird about this one? The choice of flamingo. Flamingos have backwards knees. It’s one of their freakier features, and yet this flamingo is all wrong. She’d be ostracized. Or maybe ostrich-cized, meaning she’d have to fuck off and live with some ostriches. Although, upon closer inspection, this could just be an extremely ugly ostrich to begin with.



Look, I don’t think I would use “Run like a girl” as an insult at this point in my life. But who thought this is what that looks like? Why does she have a dick coming out of the top of her stomach? Do…do girls have a dick that comes out of their stomachs when they run? My education failed me in a lot of ways, but if this is true, I have to say that this is a new low.