I just found out that at the end of the race there will be beer. And that beer is Michelob Ultra.
I’ve never had a Michelob Ultra. I have a pretty good diet, but I kinda think the idea of a “sports beer” is stupid.Oh, good hiking! Have a beer. But not one that’ll fuck up your body! Because really it’s the carbs, not the fact that a beer makes you feel great because you’re poisoning yourself. Don’t get me wrong. I loves me some beer. I’m going to drink a beer tonight. I just think it’s kinda dumb to be like, OH, if only there was a healthy beer! One for someone like ME, someone who thinks a bike is an easy chair. Because I’m that stupid. And you couldn’t even get a picture of Lance Armstrong on a bicycle with a real background? No way of locating that rarity?
Yeah, like dis shit. Fuck this guy, y’know? What does a beer have to do with any of this? Also, as someone who has taken many an ice bath, it’s a shot of bourbon you want. Not some lameass light beer.
You just know some b-hole was like, “Gimme something crossfit-y.” If you’re going to talk about the extra mile, shouldn’t this person be biking or running or something? Shouldn’t this say something about power out of the hole? Uh, that’s a squatting term. Not an asshole thing.
All that said, I’m totally gonna slam as many Michelob Ultras as they’ll let me. Because I’m an athlete.